Heir Head
So Paris Hilton shows up at Live8 not knowing what it was, and then she starts posing for pictures like it's any other celebrity photo op.
So she also wants to get married in a church in England that is reserved for royalty, and writes a letter to Prince Charles asking him to make an exception because she's "the closest thing to American royalty" (what's that sound? I think it's the Kennedys rolling in their graves while the Bushes grind their teeth right down to the gums).
So she's no Mensa candidate. We knew that. But what about her looks? You'll have to pardon me, but this is one angry young McCoy who would rather have sex with a heap of decomposing venison than spend 5 minutes in a room alone with Paris Hilton.
"Lock up your boyfriends..." purrs the voiceover for that episode of The OC (Ordinary Crap), where apparently Paris Hilton is on the warpath. Am I the only one who finds her both physically and morally repugnant? WHY is she being paraded around as the supposed paragon of female attractiveness? Why is she being marketed as some kind of "ultimate woman"? If I ever had the misfortune to meet her and she put the hard word on me, I'd laugh in her face (then go home to my pile of rotting deer flesh). She's hideous! WAY too skinny, un-naturally shiny, and I sometimes get the feeling I could contract VD just by looking at her.
She's had so much plastic surgery now, she barely even qualifies as human... I think we're legally supposed to call her a cyborg now. (Don't believe me? have a look at this.) They must have botched it and etched that vapid, smug smile into her features permanently. If we were to throw her in a vat of cold cream, there'd be nothing left except her little dog, her huge ugly engagement ring, and her assorted fake body parts.
Also, I think I might have fallen asleep during a meeting, but could someone please remind me just why is Paris Hilton famous? What exactly does she DO? There's something quite distinctly nauseating about someone who thinks they ought to be famous just because grand-daddy knew a thing or two about hotels. I heard she released a CD, just so she'd be known for SOMETHING other than her "home movies".
It's time to pay heed to a valuable lesson - if you ignore something, it does go away. If the media would stop splashing her picture all over town every time she steps outside, maybe she could grasp the notion that she really isn't special at all. But I doubt she has the IQ to be so introspective.
I'd take to her with a syringe full of air, but she's such an air-head to begin with it might not have any effect.
So she also wants to get married in a church in England that is reserved for royalty, and writes a letter to Prince Charles asking him to make an exception because she's "the closest thing to American royalty" (what's that sound? I think it's the Kennedys rolling in their graves while the Bushes grind their teeth right down to the gums).
So she's no Mensa candidate. We knew that. But what about her looks? You'll have to pardon me, but this is one angry young McCoy who would rather have sex with a heap of decomposing venison than spend 5 minutes in a room alone with Paris Hilton.
"Lock up your boyfriends..." purrs the voiceover for that episode of The OC (Ordinary Crap), where apparently Paris Hilton is on the warpath. Am I the only one who finds her both physically and morally repugnant? WHY is she being paraded around as the supposed paragon of female attractiveness? Why is she being marketed as some kind of "ultimate woman"? If I ever had the misfortune to meet her and she put the hard word on me, I'd laugh in her face (then go home to my pile of rotting deer flesh). She's hideous! WAY too skinny, un-naturally shiny, and I sometimes get the feeling I could contract VD just by looking at her.
She's had so much plastic surgery now, she barely even qualifies as human... I think we're legally supposed to call her a cyborg now. (Don't believe me? have a look at this.) They must have botched it and etched that vapid, smug smile into her features permanently. If we were to throw her in a vat of cold cream, there'd be nothing left except her little dog, her huge ugly engagement ring, and her assorted fake body parts.
Also, I think I might have fallen asleep during a meeting, but could someone please remind me just why is Paris Hilton famous? What exactly does she DO? There's something quite distinctly nauseating about someone who thinks they ought to be famous just because grand-daddy knew a thing or two about hotels. I heard she released a CD, just so she'd be known for SOMETHING other than her "home movies".
It's time to pay heed to a valuable lesson - if you ignore something, it does go away. If the media would stop splashing her picture all over town every time she steps outside, maybe she could grasp the notion that she really isn't special at all. But I doubt she has the IQ to be so introspective.
I'd take to her with a syringe full of air, but she's such an air-head to begin with it might not have any effect.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home